Today was  challenging day, but I was able to feel God’s comfort and be given a chance to trust that his plan will work out perfectly in the end.I went to Purpose Driven Academy to meet, Pamela, the mother of Allan, Stella, Junior and Allan because she came to the school to visit them. When I got there I greeted her and all of her kids were sitting with her except for Junior. 

Stella, Marvelous and Pamela

So after I talked for the mother for a little while I went to find him. He was serving his classmates porridge for breakfast and looking down trying to hide his tears. His classmates had noticed he was crying and began chanting and making fun of him. So I grabbed his hand and pulled him around the corner and he just broke down. I sat with him for almost and hour. I had been struggling with the fact that I didn’t feel like I was getting much accomplished in the time that I have been here. In this moment I felt overwhelming peace and it was confirmed to me once again that simply being present is the most important thing.There was no way for me to communicate with him except to show him that I love him and care about him. Junior is normally such a happy child and it was heartbreaking to see him so upset.

Sweet Junior on a day when he was taking pictures with my camera. 

        After a while, he went back to class then at the next break, Pamela asked me to bring him over so that she could talk with him. So I went over and grabbed his hand and led him over to her. When Junior got over there he wouldn’t even look at her. I couldn’t understand everything she was saying to him, but I heard her ask why he wouldn’t talk to her, why he was scared of her and why he refused to sit with her. It was heartbreaking to see how much pain he was holding on to because he is fully unable to cope with it. 

Later, I brought Pamela into Margaret’s office and we talked with her about if she would be willing to talk to her children and be more honest about her health. It was a tough and frustrating conversation. She  is afraid of telling her kids because she doesn’t want them to treat her with the same stigma that the rest of her community treat people who are HIV+. We explained to her that the whole reason we found her was because her oldest child, Protenciana, who is now in high school, was able to connect the dots and find out that what she was learning about in school and the symptoms her mother was having coincided with the symptoms that come with having AIDS. Margaret told her that by second grade both the boys will have learned enough to suspect, but not to know for sure.

We also talked about how it might ease some of their pain and sadness if they knew what was going on with their mother. Pamela explained that when the kids are home for break, Allan doesn’t let any of the other children eat until she has eaten more than enough because he knows that she needs to have good meal before she takes her medicine. She also told us that all of the kids are curious, but she thinks its better to leave them wondering. Pamela told us that her mother didn’t tell her until she was on her death bed and she plans on doing the same. 

It was frustrating to have three people telling Pamela that they thought it would be best if her children were told a little about what was going on and her refusing to bend. It puts me in a bad place of wanting to be there for the kids to have someone they can talk to and not being able to answer their questions because we have to honor what the mother says. All we can do is assure them that regardless of what happens they will always be taken care of and be there for them to have someone to listen to what they have to say. Sorry this blog is a little long. Thanks for reading!

Just to end this blog on a bit of a happier note. Pamela noticed how much happier  and healthier  Marvelous is  now. Here is a picture of her doing a dance during PE class.